THE OPEN WINDOW

A pack of brightly colored playing cards lay within my reach
The design & color inviting, but the prospect of putting them to some sort of use was...well: Boring.

Anyway I finally picked them up, and sat shuffling the deck
It wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be...

And before I knew it I was keen to do much more with them... But I hadn’t really decided what...
I mulled over it for a while... and finally mustered enough courage to lay down my own (house of cards)

From the outset itself, the plan was flawed... (I had expected too much)

Beautiful yet fragile... (Never the less I took a chance)....

I started one level at a time...with a narrow structure initially... (I didn’t think I wanted anything more at the moment)

Was unsure of how far I could go and really how far I wanted to... (We decided to live the moment)

But as I got through the first few levels, (my confidence grew).... I began beefing up the foundation... Adding more layers horizontally....

It had to be strong like... (Like any relationship)....it was the only way I was going to finish all the way to the top....

I was sure I would make it to the top... against all odds.... (I knew we would make it. I had begun to believe it)

And almost suddenly.... as if out of the blue (it all ended...)

Something had let the wind in... brought my house down with it... (As they say...it all came down like a pack of cards)

I sat there on the floor looking helplessly at the cards... (A mess)

The myriad colors, no better than a blur... (Each memory- vivid, yet strangely fuzzy)

As I picked myself up, I realised that (‘I had made all but 1 mistake’)...

A mistake that took everything I’d built away from me... All in 1 single instance...

I saw myself staring at the window...An otherwise ordinary sight on most days... I realised that something was amiss on that day...

I suddenly felt cold... I had left the window Open... (I had hoped for too much...)

Maybe the result was predictable from the very beginning... the nature of the construction itself made it impossible to complete... (I had been forewarned, but I chose to pay no heed...)

But someone or something had to be blamed...And on that day, unfortunately it was the poor window’s turn... Ordinarily you would have thought anything less harmless too would have caused the same result...

But had the window not been Open.... (At least I’d be protected...)

Just when i thought i had...

I walked for a very long time...
They stood by the sidelines egging me on... ‘Go on go for it... your almost there...just a few more steps & you’ll be there'
But every time I’d get closer... they’d say that I needed to walk a little more or chide me for having lost my way....

The journey had been eventful, lots to learn - I’d slip, I’d fall, made friends who’d break my fall... but with each event that set me back I knew I had to dust myself off, look ahead and walk on... I had to.. I had to get to that finish line remember?
The light had begun to fade... Faster than I had expected...But I knew where I was going... I could see the finish line clearly...

It’s been a while since I started walking... 3 long years ...and I thought I had almost reached the finish line... A victory undoubtedly...That’s what they’d told me they’d call it....

I am here now.. at the finish line... But, there’s no one. They’d told me they’d be there to celebrate my victory... But...I am all alone...

I should have guessed; it was only the 1st Goal post... & there were more up ahead..

No wonder there wasn’t any fan fare.

How silly of me to even expect it... (i thought to myself)

But.....

Didn’t I finish?

Or....

Did no one Notice?

PEACE at last

It’s not that she hadn’t spoken up
She had confessed.
It had been difficult. But she knew there wasn’t another way
Confused. Vulnerable. Bitter sometimes even Scared
A bundle of contradictions

They’d heard her.
Some took advantage of her state
Some offered advice. But none gave it an honest thought
“They said, you think too much.
It’s ok. Everyone goes thru it”
If only they had listened…

It’s windy now... I can hardly hear my self think.
There are voices. They are saying things to me...
It’s too loud. Wait!

“Get up you stupid bitch! Pull up your socks
Cool, Casual, frivolous
Am glad at least someone’s happy the way I turned out
He hasn’t called. I hope I don’t look over done
You’re under my skin. I bleed...”

At least this time the finish line won’t be a mirage.

Come to think of it the world suddenly seems small.
An army of ants working their way around.
It’s time. I’ve waited so long.

“Ma all I want is to be free.
Free as a bird with the wind beneath my wings”

No one to lay down the rules.

“It’s finally what I want.
Not out of choice though.
Forgive me Ma. There really wasn’t another way out.”

The news was abound with the story.
Over a 100ft, that’s how high she fell.
There she lay lifeless, in a pool of blood.
They said she looked radiant, at peace.
Some called it cowardly.
They didn’t care. They all made them stories.

“Ma all I want is to be free.
Free as a bird with the wind beneath my wings”

SPEECH TITLE: HAPPINESS

THE VERSE:
‘HAPPINESS
A state of delirium, an overstated belief of a wandering mind.
We seek it more than the basics of nature.
WHY?
I ask myself time and again
And yet gifted are those who pause to look for that moment that fills them with happiness.
My question: What is being Happy?
Money, Great Job, warm family, fantastic friends.
Is that all?
Since when did externalities become the very basis of happiness I ask?
Whatever happened to being intrinsically happy?
Is this being gifted?
I rather challenge it’s very premise then.

..What am I getting at?

Ok here it is.
The question is: Are you HAPPY?
And if you are, can you attribute it to being at peace with yourself rather than dependence on a source outside of you?
Pause for a minute.
Think.
Look within and set your self on the course to finding peace and happiness.
It’s the only thing that will last.’

APPLAUSE.

……. (Aside)
No. I don’t intend preaching.
Cut me some slack guys, it’s in some way my way of finding my way back HOME.

Hush….

I try but I don’t seem to succeed.
I just doesn’t get any better
Like the ebb and flow, the ups and downs they get the better of me all the time.
What gives you the impression that I am not making an attempt?
It’s just that I don’t know where and how to begin.

Strangely Complex. Yet seemingly simple.

But didn’t they say it was just that EASY?
Life is simple you’re the one whose complicating it!
Stupid Bitch!
Get up! Pull up those freaking socks!
Can’t you hear me?

I can but it’s too loud.
And yet there is silence…

Scene 1:

I met some one today.
No, no it was one of those chance meetings at the most unpredictable places.

Cut to:

It’s 6 am.
I struggle with my bag alternating it’s weight on either shoulder.

I am at the Airport.
The damn place. It’s no better than a railway platform mobbed by office goers during rush hour!
…where in God’s name did exclusivity loose her way I wonder.

I make my way around the hordes, and finally find stand myself in well: a relatively free line.
As I wait my turn for the customary chat with an overly made up flight attendant I casually scan the tediously long lines.


The Film Title: Generally the Crux of every Bollywood film.


Suddenly out of nowhere, I see a familiar face in the crowd.
The madness increasingly making sense.

It was HIM!


Flashback:
I was only 18 then.
Love I’d liked to believe.
It didn’t last.
My heart broken. My love lost.

Birthdays, a wedding invitation, a bonny baby.
We’d kept in touch occasionally.


Scene 2:
Well almost impulsively I sized him up.
He'd changed. Well a lot more prosperous..
But somehow still the same.

…There was warmth in that hug.
No bad blood. No hurt.
Time had healed.


It was brief.
Just two good old friends. Catching up.
We chatted. Reminisced.
It was nice.


Climax: Well you could blame it on the scriptwriter, call it a bad movie, a waste of time.
Well all I can say is:
Life’s moved on…

THE END.

Credits…

" -"

My head hurts.
My vision it’s well: Blur...
Heck no it’s not one of those things that needs a new pair of spectacles.

I feel the strain.
I’ve placed it!!
It’s my forehead that’s hurting.

She’s a wily old thing isn’t she?
She knows just how to get her way.
- As if a concentrated effort to wearing me down.
She’s getting better at this.

The pain, it’s more regular now-a-days.

I can’t see clearly.
From here there seems like there’s very little today than to have to think of tomorrow.
I know why. But…

She’s been a persuasive teacher.
And I think I’ve learnt well.
It’s who she wants me to be.
She told me it was for my own good.
‘It’s a bad world out there you know'

That’s just that way it’s got to be.


Well I guess at least someone’s happy with the way I turned out.